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I can choose not to indulge in the same behavior that others around me are doing, but I'm told that it's very, very difficult for some people. The urge sometimes is uncontrollable. I have a hard time believing that, since I've never been in their shoes. But I accept that it's a possibility that can't be ignored. I think it's just disrespectful to drink in front of a recovering alcoholic, no matter whether they tell me it's okay to do so. Just as I'd take my cigarette outside in the cold and rain rather than smoke around someone who's asthmatic. And yes, I've had asthmatics tell me, "No, it's okay! don't change your behavior just because of me." Bullshit. I've got more respect for others than that. Bottom line is, he's made clear what his limits are. Whether that's limits on cheating, personal hygiene, eating habits, sexual fetishes, or substance .. if a limit is important enough to one partner to be a dealbreaker, then the other partner has to choose. To violate those limits in the face of their partner is simple DISRESPECT.

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