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Websters Dictionary defines caretaking as "one that gives physical or emotional care and support; one that takes care of the house or land of an owner who be absent; one temporarily fulfilling the function of office." The context and concern I had refers to is how you cared of him and his emotional well-being throughout your entire history: when he was in former relationship, after it ended as well as now, when he's in an intimate relationship with you. When she broke up with him, you were the one holding him, telling him it be okay. Then you were available to "evolve" your relationship. When he says he wants a "real relationship," you go for it because you already loved him. Sounds like you eclipsed dating. Dating about being an explorer of the unknown. Two people are exploring their compatibility if it's a good fit, if the relationship deepens, if there is chemistry, acceptance, people can choose to make a partnership and commitment. I don't hear that he is committed to you. But I hear that you are % committed to him. I think that's a red to commit to someone whose not committed to you. I think you're concerns about him seeking out ex-gf are legitimate. His response to your concerns lacks substance and is unsatisfying. Instead of addressing the issue that you have concerns regarding his feelings and intentions regarding ex-gf, he flipped it around and made it about him having a concern about you contacting your ex-husband. This is a distortion and distraction. It's a distortion because you have with ex-husband and it's in the best interest of the that you communicate. It's a distraction because you aren't pining after your ex; you aren't missing him; you aren't the one who said you could never get over the loss of him. Because of these reasons, I asked about your history with caretaking.

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