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A wife for Lukey
For a few minutes put on a clown hat and read this silly saga as Lukey casts his net into the Craigslist waters in hopes of catching a mate.
Hello potential female mates,
I'm Lukey. I'm ready to leave work and go home. Home is a trailer park where I live with my sister Petal and Grandma. Grandma does not exactly live there anymore; we just keep her ashes in a coffee can on a table in front of the television. She used to be on top of the TV in an urn, but I accidentally broke it and some of Grandma spilled down inside. I took off the back to scoop Grandma out, but couldn't tell her from the dust and those fuzzy things inside. Grandma was kind of fuzzy too so that may have been her, I'm not sure. I left things alone because I was sneezing real bad and didn't want to blow Grandma all over the place. So now she is in the can and the TV. Grandma was wrong about not being in two places at the same time. Actually she is in three places. I put a little pinch of her in a railroad car parked on the side tracks because she always wanted to travel. Grandma, if you can hear me, I hope you get to those mountains you always dreamed about.
Here at work I'm a Seed Packet Party Appointment Setter. It's my job to interrupt people during supper. Before they start hollering at me, I have to convince them that something they have never heard of is the best thing to come along since crack cream. I need for them to host a party where we can sell little packets of vegetable seeds. I get paid real well for every appointment. The ad said I could make up to $ amps of cold, raw cranking power. Although the last time I was over, some of that raw power had leaked out and ate a big ol' hole in the linoleum.
I mentioned to Dr. Leekman I was going to be a doctor real soon. He said to come in and have my head examined. NO THANKS! I don't need any more medical facts from that cross-eyed quack!
Doctor Lukey; that title sounds real good. Grandma would be so proud.
I'm real excited waiting to hear from some lucky lady who knows a good thing when she sees it. Oh, and my sister Petal said to remember that some men need to be graded on the curve.
Lukey
Ilona
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