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that it's a little sad how you seem to perceive yourself in a role of power/ righteousness within your relationship. Why do I assume you perceive yourself this way? It's your house. You say he's the one with a record (Oh, but you don't judge. Though you'd like US to judge him, right? Constructing our biases for us, are you?) You say he starts the fights (Hey, but guess what? He's really rebelling against your pseudo-parenting/ rule-making fetish) His family loves YOU. He keeps leaving YOU. You seem to yourself as being in the right, while you also yourself as being put out. You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't perceive yourself as the one holding more cards the one with something to offer the one with the upper hand, if I. If you weren't the one with more, of what could he take advantage? Thing is, though he appear TO YOU to be the one with less power in the relationship the petulant one, the childish one, the one who can't handle his liquor HE's actually got all the power because you don't have any actual boundaries. Only flimsy, principle-based rules. And maybe he IS taking advantage, but guess what? You invited the vampire in. You let him move in too, you let him ride for next to nothing; and you think that he should be grateful, which is why you set your ridiculous rules. But he rebels. And do you know why? Because you never told him the price of your generosity: Control. Because he wouldn't have wanted the free ride if you told him that, right? Did you think you could help/ fix him? Was that your motivation, or did you just not want to be alone? Control doesn't come with respect one won't result from the other, the two are basiy enemy-concepts. That's where you are now. Why isn't he grateful/ what's with his leaving/fighting/drinking/breaking my rules? You've lost his respect. Which is just as well, considering I'm not sure you ever respected HIM, either. I wonder if you even respect yourself. You're all rules (., hot air) and no substance; all principle and no praxis; all show, no go. So, you cannot have the upper hand. You have problems with control, codependency, and (if I be so bold) self-loathing tendencies.
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